letting go?
“my ex boyfriend and i of 2 years and 7 months broke up a little bit over three months ago. he was my best friend; i had never felt so close and comfortable with anyone in my life. we’d laugh over the smallest, stupidest things but still be able to talk about serious issues. i never thought i’d find anyone with so much in common, considering the fact that we were raised very differently. he’s taught me so much and helped me grow the past two years. i’ve been trying to move on and have just recently been okay with the “letting go” part. i realized that there wasn’t a place for me in his life anymore, and i was set on what i wanted. but then, i went to a football game last night. neither of us knew the other would be there, but he recognized me from far away and told me he was there too. i saw him for the first time in four months. he opened up to me and told me everything, like he used to. he looks the same, he acts the same. he’s the same guy i fell in love with.
i’m so confused on what to do now, i’m planning to talk to him in a few days. i don’t know what i want anymore, i don’t know what to say. could’ve not seen me from far away while walking to his seat, and recognized me. but he did. he could’ve not texted me telling me he was there. but he did. he could’ve not been willing to talk to me. but he was. he could’ve not told me everything like he used to. but he did. we could’ve not even realized each other was there. but we did. i’ve also been having dreams telling me otherwise than what i’ve been thinking. i can’t tell if this is just coincidence or the real thing.”
i’m scared of letting go, because i might be letting go of the wrong person. i don’t wanna end up with the wrong person when he’s the right one. i don’t wanna make a mistake.”
The beginning question is… how was the break up? Was is mutual? Ugly? Peaceful? Needed? Surprising? ….Depending on the reasons why your relationship ended could help in determining the meaning behind his actions at the football game. He’s the same guy which is good. He’s still great apparently and he’s not mean or nasty. Which leads me to assume that the breakup wasn’t because he was changing in a bad way but then again making it a little harder to give you a solid answer. So I’ll give you what I got …
“Letting go” is always the assumed protocol after a break up but not always needed. There are different circumstances for each individual. Take time and evaluate the reasons that you or the other person have chosen. It’s been some time since you’ve seen each other which is good after a break up. People need time to think and, again, reevaluate the decisions made. This is kinda like a “life after death” situation….
“Life”= getting back together & “Death”= the breakup
When people hear the words “It’s over”, arms go flying up and the mentality of “what’s done is done” becomes ones new mantra. This is sometimes not always the way it goes which is why we hear stories of people “getting back together”. It happens.
But sometimes a break up is needed. The other person may not be such a good thing in your life. Perhaps they were bringing you down, treating you wrong or, simply, not a good fit. Break ups and heart ache are much needed things in life. If they didn’t happen than you wouldn’t be with the person you should be with or realize the person you should be with.
As for the boy, who knows… he may be it. Then again, he may not be. His purpose in your life is too early to determine. Whether he’s it or he’s just a lesson, great experience, or just friend. Guys always want to rush the “friendship part” too. That’s when you have to say… hey, I need time because you’re sending me mixed signals and my head is too cloudy or upset or angry right now to figure out what they really mean... maybe not in those words but your actions need to say it (or maybe in those/your words).
Fate finds people for reasons other than what we think. Don’t fight what should be taking place and don’t come up with reasons for why things happened the way they did. It’s not that life is unsolvable but just go with the flow.
Embrace the epiphanies in your life. The wisest people I know are the oldest people I know, they accepted time and discovered answers. There are things that we all know can not be answered so don’t dwell on trying to figure them out. Maybe someday you will but why the rush? Patience is a virtue. Time is beautiful. Use the time that you have in your life to enjoy life. Knowing all the answers is convenient but never fun.
Hope this helps. Apologies for the tardiness. Much Much love
-thisisyourrelationship
